First – Congratulations! Being engaged is one of the best seasons of life. It can also be one of the most stressful, chock-full of emotions, joyful periods of time in which you may well rollercoaster between all the  feelings in a day (sometimes in an hour!). So, after the ring and before embarking on the planning process, I would like to share my top 5 pieces of advice for newly engaged couples.

First Things First

Take some time to enjoy being engaged before you dive into wedding planning . If you had a private engagement (i.e. just the two of you), I highly recommend keeping it just between yourselves for a minute. Pop some champagne, admire your new bling, take some “just engaged” selfies – take time to soak in the fact that you’ve just made a huge decision together. It is a milestone marker on the road of life, and it is a spectacular feeling.  

If your engagement included family and friends hiding in the bushes until the question was popped and confirmed, then by all means celebrate with them. Soak in the joy of those who love you. Most likely these are the same people that will have a front-row seat at your wedding, and they will be so excited to celebrate your newly engaged status.  After you have had a chance to celebrate with them, I recommend a little getaway for just the two of you. Whether that looks like a quick getaway out of town, a splurge on a fancy local hotel, or simply returning to the comfort of home, do something that involves just the two of you to savor the sweetness of this fantastic day.

Your First Big Decision

If you haven’t already done so, I suggest first discussing  the type of wedding the two of you want to have. Big, small, extravagant, casual, rustic, country club … there are many ways to wed, and trust me when I tell you that it is best that the two of you make this decision together before broaching it with anyone else. All the well-intentioned folks in your life may have differing opinions on what you should and should not do, but this is the first lesson in wedding planning 101: it Is YOUR wedding. Hard Stop. Period. Exclamation point! Figure out what the three most important aspects of your wedding day are to you. Presenting your desires as a united front goes a long way in mitigating all the other opinions you are likely to hear.

Making THE List

Your guest list dictates everything else that comes after the ring. We’re going to talk about budget next but before you decide how much money to spend, you’ll need to have an idea of how many people you want to have celebrate your big day. A budget for a 50-person celebration is much different than a budget for 150 guests. 

In terms of numbers, when couples ask me where to start with their guest list, I always suggest starting small and adding later. Culling your guest list can be fraught with emotion, and it is far easier to add someone to the list than it is to remove them. Figure out who must be there, then add in those you most definitely want to celebrate with. Inevitably, your families may insist on adding to the list, but starting with your core group and building on that will go a long way in keeping your guest list manageable as well as intentional.

The Hardest Part: Money

Begin with some research. You will find all sorts of numbers out on the internet, but stay away from those that give a blanket average cost for a wedding – most of those are terribly skewed and don’t take into account that different markets have different average budgets. For example, my local market is Los Angeles, and the cost for a typical LA wedding is much more than the cost for a wedding in my hometown in Texas. Your venue/catering will comprise the largest portion of your budget, so start there. For the remainder of your professional vendor team, do more research to see if industry numbers fall within the dollar amount you are hoping to allocate to each category. Sleep on it. Discuss with anyone in your circle that will be contributing to the wedding. Try not get your heart set on any one “thing” for your wedding until you’ve hammered out the budget. It will be a process, but it will be worth it to spend this time up front to come up with a real workable number that doesn’t require a mountain of debt to fund an amazing wedding. If you need to save to have the wedding you want, take the time to do so! At the end of the day, it is important to remember that amazing weddings come in all shapes, sizes and budget points, and your day will be special no matter the dollar amount you allocate toward it. 

Note To Self: Enjoy This Process

As someone who is married as well being a wedding planner with hundreds of weddings under her belt, please heed this advice: Remember to enjoy the wedding planning process and this time in your life. Yes, there will be stressful bits, and at times wedding planning can feel like a series of a million different decisions, but this really should be an enjoyable process. If you find yourself bogged down or feeling the inevitable overwhelm, try to remember the why of what you’re doing. At the end of all the planning, you get to marry the one you love, and that’s what it’s all about. Everything else is just the cherry on the sundae.

photography: Jenna Rose Photography