We’ve all been there. If you’ve planned or are in the middle of planning your wedding, you know that as soon as you say “yes” to the proposal, the questions, suggestions, and advice come flying at you from all directions. More than one couple has expressed to me that as soon as they became engaged, they felt they were already behind on planning because so many questions seemingly required an immediate answer. While well-intentioned, these questions do not need to be answered immediately! Take a beat and figure out not only what you want for your wedding, but also consider how you want to plan. Being intentional about HOW you plan is just as important as what you’re planning, and today we’re sharing our top 5 tips to help you avoid wedding planning burnout.

This first tip may fall under the heading of unpopular opinion, but I’m going to say it anyway. Remember, your wedding is just one day. Boom. Mic drop. That said, it is undoubtedly one of the MOST important days, so attention must be paid. However, I suggest trying to avoid getting so caught up in planning your wedding that the other parts of your life get placed on the back burner. A good balance of work/friends/family/pets/hobbies/fun plus wedding planning keeps you sane, and ensures you’ll enjoy this process! Also, keeping your life mostly intact while planning will also help you stave off the post-wedding blues, which is a real thing.

My second tip is to limit the amount of time you spend per week on your wedding plans. Choose one evening per week and designate it as wedding planning night. Pour a glass of bubbly, pull out your notes, and tackle all the emails and questions that need an answer. It really is that simple. This approach allows you to be focused and productive, and helps to prevent procrastinating on tasks that, if left unattended too long, can cause unnecessary anxiety. Unless your wedding is just a few weeks away, it will be a rare occurrence that questions or decisions require an immediate answer, so take advantage of that gift of time. If you’re working with a planner, let him or her know that you focus on your wedding on X day, and that they can expect an answer then. And trust me, if something needs immediate attention, your wedding professionals will let you know.

This next tip is something near and dear to my heart: Hire professional wedding vendors. They’ve spent years learning their craft, and likely spend a lot of their free time investing in educating themselves, researching trends, and networking with other pros. There are not enough exclamation points in the world to help me emphasize this more! As a professional wedding planner, my goal and well as the goal of all the wedding planners I know is always to alleviate the worry of planning from our client’s. We work to lead them through the planning process without overwhelming them with to do lists. Also, we typically pace out the process to accommodate for the fact that you have a life outside of planning your wedding. That said, I am aware that hiring a planner is not always in the budget, but if you can splurge on any one vendor line item, having a planner to help carry the load goes a long way to ensuring that you’ll enjoy being engaged and planning your wedding.

Pace yourself when planning your wedding. Don’t get caught up in the “I’m behind” mentality. That feeling of being “behind” is both unhealthy usually not even remotely true. Wedding planning is not a race, but the surest way to burn yourself out is to fall into that mindset. Prioritize your wedding to do list and pace your planning to work around your day-to-day commitments, not the other way around. When you begin planning, make a list of goals and space them out over the months leading up to your wedding. You don’t need to accomplish all of them in month one. Take it one step at a time. Hire vendors one at a time. Make the planning process work for you and the flow of your life. Enjoy this process. You get to do this once, and it really is the sweetest time of life. Savor it!

Lastly, create natural places to pause in the planning process. As I said earlier, planning your wedding is not a race, and unless you’re planning timeframe is shortened to just a few weeks, make time to step away from time to time. Keep dating each other. Take a trip if possible. Making time for each other should be a priority. Reconnecting away from the whirlwind of wedding planning will help you remember why you’re getting married in the first place.